Not too many posts on the ol’ Hammershack Report in 2024 as much of our work has been construcTIVE but not construcTION. It’s hard to capture the interpersonal, felt, and experienced work without risking an overshare or feeling really vulnerable. My sense is that we are going through a time in which “everything is fine” is an obvious lie that perpetuates more suffering. In the spirit of learning together, of awkward authenticity, an offering of intimacy:

Huck’s journey this year began with a realization that he really truly hated being at the University of Washington. He kept thinking it would get better- with friends, with a major, with familiarity. It just didn’t. 

He withdrew after winter quarter and threw himself into training for an international Kung Fu competition with his Shifu as his coach. He was charging full steam ahead with a fairly brutal training regimen when the organizers canceled his event. Waa-waaaaa. In July, his teachers managed to set up an exhibition match in town so he could at least fight someone, and he did very well. No medals for an exhibition match, y’all, but it was satisfying to watch him move with ease and grace and confidence and completely out-gas his opponent. Huck’s Instagram is probably the best place to find photos of him these days, you can find him HERE and HERE, the latter is mostly the WW1 re-enactment feed, still going strong!

After a summer of full time work at Jack’s Fish Spot in Pike Place, he is currently working there on Saturdays and teaching Kung Fu to kids three days a week. He is treading water, wondering which island he should swim to, but he has stamina and a strong heart and we trust he’ll figure it out.

Morgan has been learning who he is under the social mask he has worn since he was very little. He hasn’t been formally diagnosed, but it is pretty clear that he is on the Autism spectrum in recognizable ways once that mask gets dropped. We have both been learning how to navigate the fear and confusion, the exhaustion and the overwhelm that comes with being authentic and neurodivergent. It has basically been a full time job for him this year. If you are curious about this at all, there are lots of creators on social media talking in really helpful ways about what it is like to be on the spectrum, and we can recommend a few to start with.

Showing up for this process has exposed my oldest and dearest coping strategies -again- for me to renegotiate -again- with more kindness, perspective, compassion, and the certain knowledge that this is going to come up for both of us -again- and -again- and -again- and that’s ok. We have got each others’ backs, and there are deeply satisfying rewards to human being at this level in the company of someone you love. 

What else… I have been learning to listen to my dreams. I was quite ill for a couple of weeks in March and got a whole bunch of really cool teachings in my long sleeps about the wheel of the year, circles of sustainability and community, the ongoing and endless cycles of beginning, growing, flourishing, maturing, withering, ending and beginning again. Those themes have been strong this year, so I appreciate the dreamtime primer. This listening practice emerges from my studies in the Arbor Legacy Program, which is turning out to be exactly what I had hoped it would be.

I took a Non-Violent Communication class this summer, six sessions that were just the very beginning of a whole philosophy of helping people understand each other and work towards solutions that honor everyone’s needs. There is now an online offering for this that is very accessible, and I highly recommend it and will be doing it again. 

One branch of my family tree got hard-pruned this year; in my my matrilineal line we lost Cheryl, Nate, Dylan, John, Terry, and Jim. My mother was the fourth of six siblings, and between early September and early December all three of her older brothers shuffled off their mortal coils, leaving her the eldest of the remaining three. YIKES, and OUCH. More graduate-level human being in this absolutely normal part of life. No use in fighting it, just lay down on the floor and let those tears roll. And then get up and tell some jokes, that’s what they would have wanted.

Ok, let’s include in this rundown the many moments of beauty, joy, and connection we enjoyed, shall we? I spent a lot of time playing with flowers this year. Morgan has found some online support groups and is building a stunning sculptural outdoor fireplace insert for some dear friends. Huck is enjoying the suit of Song Dynasty armor he commissioned many months ago that has finally arrived. We have spent time with friends and family in nature, in their lovely homes, in ours. We laughed a LOT, often at ourselves, with full bellies and full hearts, exquisitely open to the actual experiences we were having. 

In the dark and rainy months I sort through all the photos I have collected from the year and post my albums up on Flickr. In my photos I am focusing on balance, beauty, light, and fun– things that fill my cup as the world takes sips and gulps and occasionally makes me spill. I am so very grateful for the container of this life, the privilege of living it, the ability to feel, even when it’s hard.
May the new year bring us all reasons to celebrate, people to celebrate with, and the ability to notice and celebrate even the smallest wonders.